Restoring Faith

Sometimes your heart and your head can't coexist.

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When I was growing up, I always knew that I would want to birth a baby naturally. Before you start giving me props for being so intuitive, let me tell you, my desire was fueled by one thing only...avoiding needles.

Not really a great foundation for supporting natural childbirth.

I was lied to by a doctor for the first time when I was five. I remember it as if it were yesterday. While getting my kindergarten check-up I asked if they would be sticking me. I was told no. Then, I took my little self to the bathroom for the required urine sample when I overheard the conversation about doing a blood draw next.

My distrust of medical personnel started early.

I left the tiny bathroom and proceeded to leave the hospital. No idea what my big plan was, I only knew that I was escaping the needle.

They caught me. It took nine people to hold me while they drew my blood.

It might have been that moment that I decided I would never have kids. Who knows.

Fast forward 13 years, to when I found myself pregnant. I read everything I could about childbirth and I discussed my desires with my doctor. I thought that I did what I needed to do, to avoid feeling that same helplessness that I felt 13 years prior. I was never afraid of the pain of childbirth, I was afraid of needles and helplessness, I was afraid of being vulnerable.

When I delivered my first child I discovered that fear was justifiable, and that is when my thinking turned around.

Being pregnant is not an illness. It's a natural function crucial to the survival of the human race.

Birth is the end and the beginning. The end of what you were, and the beginning of what you will become. It's a defining event in the life of a woman, and the way that event is viewed can deeply affect the impact it makes in her life. Childbirth can be approached in a loving gentle manner, or it can be defined by chaos.

I believe that women and babies benefit from an experience that is tender and respectful, and I believe modern obstetrics has corrupted that. Women have lost faith in their ability to birth, and that faith needs to be restored.

One woman at a time.